Becoming: Journeying Toward Authenticity

Waves

2011-04-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

My choir is singing the The Sea Symphony this weekend, Vaughn Williams has set Walt Whitman's poem to music, and what music it is! Want to be inspired? Listen to this clip highlighting the Scherzo movement, The Waves, and enjoy the images. what an adventure! Whether or not I manage to nail all the tough bits, singing it will be a Memorable Moment!

Canadian elections are looming: there is lots of action on the internet to oust Stephen Harper's Conservatives -- and man have they done some bad stuff! The reported surge of voter interest and turnout is surprising and most encouraging. A change in leadership would be a heartening event, a wave of good for Canada and the planet. If you're Canadian, you might want to consider vote swapping ...

"We just might be the luckiest people alive!" Have you seen the card with this quote? I have it on my desk and take a deep, appreciative breath every time my eyes land on it. In addition to giving ourselves permission to be ourselves -- our imperfect, zany, authentic, unique and precious selves (see earlier blog post) -- gratitude is another way to maximize our lives, to tap into joy... to be in the present moment, to ride the undulating waves of our lives.

If you are new to the site, have a look at BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity. Check our website for a sample chapter, or view the reviews to get a flavor for the volume.

YES! YES! YES!

2011-04-19T14:05:00.000-07:00

I just came across a sweet, deep, heartful poem called "God Says Yes to Me" by Kaylin Haught.

I love that God is female , that she talks with a warm, southern accent, and I was touched what she responded when asked whether it is was OK to do this, that, or something else... as be melodramatic, be short, wear nail polish, not paragraph letters. (Slip in your own special requests here.)

Guess what? God said "Sure it is OK." And "You can do exactly what you want to." And get this: "What I'm telling you is Yes, Yes, Yes."

How about that for permission to be ourselves! Of course no one needs to tell us that. What's more, it wouldn't do any good anyway. We need to know and accept it ourselves or we won't act on it. (And of course, it's not OK to hurt anyone else doing what we want to do. I'm sure God would agree. :-))

I was actually startled to notice the leap of joy in my heart that the poem's permission to say Yes! Yes! Yes! to ourselves, to our yearnings, our hearts' desires evoked in me. I was touched by the message, and I was also touched by how much it touched me -- as though I've never really given myself full permission to be myself with that wholehearted enthusiasm. It was truly a Memorable Moment! Maximize it :-), Yes, Yes, Yes!, by reflecting a bit.

How much and often do you give yourself permission to be who you are in the moment, to do what you really want to? How do you withhold permission, and what effect does this withholding have on your joy, your creativity, your capacities?

If you are new to the site, you can have a look at BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity by going to the website or checking out the reviews on Amazon to get a flavor for the volume.

Integrating Mysteries

2011-03-28T11:38:00.000-07:00

Recently some friends gathered to reflect together on my recent Egyptian journey. In contrast to the standard academic approach to Egypt, our tour (as do all Quest Travel tours), had a spiritual focus. We came smack up against the unknown, the mysteries and the profound.

One of the reliefs that particularly spoke to me was in the Temple of Queen Nefertari at Abu Simbel. It show Set on the left, who represents the forces of darkness, chaos, disintegration. On the right is the falcon-headed Horus, whose name means 'he who is above.' Horus is a complex deity, at core standing for wholeness and light--the realized divine principle, higher consciousness.

Between the two forces we find a pharaoh -- a human being, with manifold potential. As someone in the middle, between conflicting forces, we can feel caught, trapped. He/we could be pulled apart, split up by the contrast, the juxtaposition. Or he/we could seek to understand, integrate, balance, and even transform the two seemingly oppositional forces.

For me, this relief is a whole cosmology at one glance! As human beings we have the opportunity, the capacity, the challenge, to integrate forces of darkness and light, disintegration and wholeness. Standing in front of this relief, I was deeply touched... by its simplicity, its depth, its message -- to me, to us, to our world -- so fraught with conflict, and so full of potential for integration and wholeness.

There would be countless major examples -- Japan, Libya, politics... Here's a personal one.

Two few weeks I had a bike accident -- the forces of chaos in action! I was cycling unsafely, (way too fast for the wet conditions; long story, no excuse!) It would all have been fine if a fellow had not stepped out from between the cars right in front of me. I slammed on my breaks, fish-tailed wildly, and fell.

I avoided collision, no cars were coming, I was not seriously injured. (Guardian angels? Luck? Forces of light?) My response was to curse and swear, and I did that for some minutes; all the while the person was apologizing profusely. Later I realized this was a perfect example of missed opportunity to transform the forces of chaos, using presence and consciousness. How I would like to have taken a deep breath, owned that I had been going too fast, accepted his apologies, and said how we both were really fortunate, and had lessons to take away from the incident. At least I realized this some moments later, as I was cycling home, slowly and carefully. Better late than never!

Consider the following:

• We embody within us, as human beings, all the laws and principles that operate within the greater cosmos that sustains and embraces us.

• Those bizzare, animal-headed gods were not figment of the primitive imagination, but cosmic principles. (Credit to our magical tour guide, John Anthony West)

What do you think about these ideas? And what, if any, relevance do you see for us today?

What we do know is that the mystery schools of Egypt dealt with the essential considerations about the true nature of humankind and its relationship to the cosmos. More in coming blogs, and about the links to Becoming: Journeying Toward Authenticity -- Maximizing Memorable Moments :-)

May you be enriched by the interplay of the forces of chaos and regeneration; may the image of integrating the Set and the Horus principles in yourself and your world be provocative and fruitful.

Comments and examples welcome!

Magical Egypt!!

2011-02-17T13:41:00.000-08:00

Taking part in a tour called Magical Egypt, led by an extremely knowledgeable guide, John Anthony West, I had an unbelievable time in Egypt. All of us on the Quest Tour -- (an outfit I would highly recommend), have become fans of the Egyptians -- they were extraordinarily friendly, open, warm, welcoming. One of the main messages we want to send out far and wide after our experience is GO TO EGYPT! They need our support, especially now!

The scarab beetle, pictured here, has been special for me all my life. My mom had scarab jewelery from Egypt growing up, and I did as well. During this trip it came to take on even deeper meaning, and to stand for one of the basic, spiritual, even mystical messages in the ancient teachings: the possibility and occurrence of transformation. Persistence is required, and the outcome is not obvious from the outset, but from base and basic material, something truly magnificent, even 'magical', can emerge. More on this theme later.

Because I was still traveling, in Austria for two more weeks, and busy with my wonderful family, children and grandchildren, I copy below a note for you from good friend on the trip, which captures the flavor of our journey very well.

Blessings, cheers, Jill

And here's how it transpired:

We left for Cairo on January 27th, arriving the 28th. There had been some minor political demonstrations before we left, but they suddenly took a major turn for the worse just as we arrived, so the “Tourist Police” would not let any tourist groups out of the airport. We thought it would be for an hour or two, but eventually they said we had to spend the night in the airport. The Quest Travel representative who came to pick us up at the airport said we could sleep in the bus, which would be more comfortable than the airport, though it was a long walk from the bus to the airport bathrooms, and the bathrooms had long since run out of paper etc. We resigned ourselves to this fate, but then two young women arrived in vans, one the daughter of Mohamed Nazmy, the head of Quest Travel. They brought us food, and then asked us to get into two vans, pulling the curtains on the van windows. They smuggled us out of the airport in the vans through the domestic entrance, and the empty bus followed with our luggage. It was too dangerous to go to our hotel which was an hour away, so they took us to an excellent hotel near the airport, where we spent the night very comfortably. The next day, the bus returned and took us to Mena House Hotel in Giza. We could see the pyramids from our window, as they were right next to the hotel.

We were pretty much 'trapped' in the hotel for three days. But then, if you have to be trapped in a hotel, Mena House is a spectacular place to be. Tanks guarded the road to the Giza Pyramids , which was also the access road to Mena House. We heard lots of gun shots, especially at night. Mohamed spent a lot of time with us, and we processed our feelings. Several people felt we should leave right away, yet the airport was a parking lot of people, and even if we could get on a plane, there was a major blizzard in New York that closed the airports there. Mohamed returned to his office to find out what our options might be. Mohamed is known as “The Surgeon” by his friends because he knows how to operate. He has his own employees all over Egypt, and friends in high places, including Nazri Hawas, the new Minister of Antiquities. He determined that we could fly to Luxor and visit the temples there – his agents said the sites were open, even though the press said they were closed. And Mohamed invited us to spend a week on his boat, sailing south on the NileLuxor to Aswan, visiting temples along the way. Ordinarily, his boat costs $40,000 a week, but he let us use it without charging us extra beyond what we had already paid for our trip. Mohamed was ready to support us in any decision we might make, but the group as a whole decided to stay in Egypt and go to Luxor, and so we did. We felt safe in Mohamed’s care and felt his loving kindness, and we wished to hold open the space for “change” in Egypt -- the dissolution of the old order and the birth of the new order -– represented by our continued presence. from

We returned to the airport on February 1, leaving by bus before dawn. The people of Cairo were on the streets, guarding their homes from looters, since criminals had been let out of jail. Many sat in chairs in front of their buildings, many around camp fires. A few had guns, many had sticks. They had placed rocks on the roads, forcing all traffic to stop. When they saw us, they let us through their barricades, and waved to us, sometimes blew us kisses. We were all very moved by their greetings. The airport was wall to wall people. It was easier to move in the domestic flight area, and our Egyptian guardians ushered us through the crowds and through the gates to our plane.

When we arrived in Luxor, we stayed one night in a hotel while Mohamed prepared the boat for us. His boat, the Afandina, is a big sailing boat which he had built according to his own design – a bit like the ancient sail boats. It has no motor. When there was no wind, we were pushed by a tug boat which was always at our side. The Afandina had eight cabins, each for two people. We were exactly sixteen people. (Four people in the original group did not make it to Egypt. Had they been with us, we could not have used the boat. So it worked out exactly.) Each cabin had two twin beds, closet, TV, chest of drawers, and full bathroom. The interior of the main rooms on the boat were walled with beautiful polished wood paneling. There were dining tables both indoors and outdoors. We ate our breakfast and lunch every day outdoors, and had out dinner indoors. There was a top deck with lounge chairs.

Our first night in Luxor, we visited the temple there, called in symbolist language, the Temple of Man, which was all lit up. This was our first visit to a monument, and we had the temple almost entirely to ourselves. A long avenue of sphinxes brought the ancient Egyptians to the temple, and the temple itself reflects the dimensions of the male human body.

Our second day, we visited the amazing Temple of Karnak, a huge temple begun in the Middle Kingdom, which represents the Cosmos in its construction and symbology. Then we took a little boat to the West Bank of the Nile where we visited the Valley of Kings, the magnificent mortuary temple of Hatshepsut, the only female pharaoh, and the Ramesseum with its toppled colossal statue of Ramesses II which inspired Shelley’s poem Ozymandias. We were the only visitors at the Valley of Kings!

Finally, we boarded the Afandina to begin our trip south to Aswan. We had a delicious supper on the outer deck as we set sail. Ordinarily, the Nile is filled with tourist boats. We saw them, empty, docked in all the towns. But at this time, the Nile had almost no other tourist boats (we saw two during our week on board). There were, however, the small sailboats and rowboats of the local people. And so we could enjoy the dreamy scenery unimpeded – the palm trees, farms, camels, water buffalo, herons, egrets etc.

We stopped at Edfu to see the Ptolemaic temple there that is dedicated to Horus the Elder, with the famous statue of Horus at the entrance. The next day, we stopped at Kom Ombo to visit the Ptolemaic temple there with its dual aspect – one side dedicated to Horus the Elder (representing the principle of the return to Source embodied in Man), the other side dedicated to Set (representing the forces of darkness and chaos), the central axis a place of balance or harmony between the two.

The next day we arrived in beautiful Aswan. While we were there, we took a bus trip to the magnificent Temple Abu Simbel. John had eliminated this temple from his itinerary some years ago because it was always over-crowded. We got permission to visit the temple through Mohamed’s contact with the Minister of Defense, the Minister of the Interior (police) and the Minister of Antiquities. We were accompanied by a military guy with a machine gun. It took two hours to get there, driving through the Sahara Desert, passing over the Tropic of Cancer. We had the Temple entirely to ourselves! That evening, we enjoyed wandering in the Nubian Market in Aswan, buying souvenirs for ourselves and our families.

The following day, we visited the inspiring Temple of Philae, dedicated to Isis as Mother of Horus. The temple sits on an island in the Nile just outside Aswan. This was a splendid. Many of us experienced a huge heart opening there.

On Feb. 5, we flew back to Cairo, the airport was empty, and the roads were back to normal traffic patterns, though the demonstrations continued in Tahrir Square. We knew the Pyramids of Giza and the Sphinx were still closed to tourists, so we did not know what to expect. Mohamed had returned to CairoAntiquities, and that the Sphinx and Pyramids would be opened for us the next day! We would be the first tourists to visit since the demonstrations began. two days before we did to see what arrangements he could make for us. He welcomed us when we returned to Mena House and told us that he had spoken with Nazri Hawas, the Minister of Antiquities for further permission.

The next day we took our bus up to the Giza Plateau, and visited the Sphinx first. Tourists in general are not allowed to go into the sphinx enclosure, (though you can buy your way in for $5000). We were allowed to go in. We were greeted there by the Director of the Giza Plateau. John said the Sphinx and the pyramids are like sex – you have no idea what they are unless you experience them. Russ quoted an author who called the Sphinx enclosure “…the splendid place of the first time”. John’s geological research indicates that the sphinx dates at least to 10,000 BC, and possible 36,000 BC. Its energy is intense. To be with it is to sense the ancient roots of our planet’s civilization, so advanced way back then – more advanced than we are today. We then visited the Mortuary Temple of Mycerinus, the solar boat and the Giza , from the outside.

The following day, we were given permission to visit the sites of the necropolis Saqqara and the pyramids of Dashur. They were closed, but opened specially for us. John said Saqqara is usually crowded like Disneyworld. On that day, it was silent and empty. We visited the tomb of Mer-Ruke, and the tomb of Unas’ musician Nufer. John said he had not been in the tomb of Nufer for over twenty years. It is usually shown only to VIPs like Bill Clinton. It contains the most perfectly preserved pyramid texts – the Egyptian Book of the Dead. And it contains an almost perfect mummy.

When we got back to our hotel, a HUGE double rainbow broke out over Cairo. Our Egyptian tour guide told us she had never seen a sky rainbow before --(it almost never rains in Cairo --she had seen one once reflected in a waterfall).

Our final day, or so we thought, we were allowed a private two hours in the Great Pyramid. We ascended in silence to the King’s Chamber, where we chanted and meditated. We took turns lying in the huge granite “sarcophagus”, toning in it. My experience there was beyond words.

But for most of us, it wasn't our last day. Our flight to New York was canceled – postponed to Sunday February 13th. On Friday night, Mubarak resigned. Saturday was a day of celebration in Tahrir Square. We asked our driver to take us to the square in the van. As we drove there, we stopped to buy Egyptian flags. Car loads of Egyptians waved to us, reached out and held hands with us between cars, gave us thumbs up and the victory sign. When we reached the square, the joyous atmosphere was intense. Many Egyptians came to speak to us. They wanted to know why we were in Egypt, and how long we had been there, and what our experience had been. They wanted us to know that they loved us! They wanted to have their picture taken with us. They hugged us and waved their flags. (During our time in Egypt, we were interviewed and photographed by three Egyptian newspapers.)

Finally, on Sunday we did fly out of Cairo on time. The staff at Mena House were very sad to see us go. They said they really loved our group. This was an amazing journey filled with astonishment at the majestic temples and pyramids of Egypt, and filled with an experience of the loving nature of the Egyptian people. It is in times of crisis that we see the true character of people. Mohamed treated us like family. Our hearts were deeply touched by the spirit of all the Egyptians we met and talked to. And the loving kindness, camaraderie and consensus of the group of sixteen people with whom we traveled was remarkable. They were all students of either (or both) the Diamond Approach and the Enneagram, and during our sixteen days together, they walked their spiritual talk.

What a Trip!

2011-01-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

One of the essays in Becoming is entitled What a Trip! (page 71).

And that's just what I'm about to embark on this afternoon :-). I will be travelling in Egypt with a tour that takes an alternative approach to Egyptian culture and civilization, The Lost Civilization theory.

Whatever the truth about the history of Egypt and its civilizations, it will be a chance to be open to new experiences -- dealing with time changes, roommates, unexpected developments....

Marcel Proust says, 'The real voyage of discovery consists of not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." New eyes. What could that mean? The essay, What a Trip!, invites us all to consider our lives as a journey, and to reflect with new eyes on our directions, attitudes, destinations... Here are a few questions to guide the reflection:

If your life were a journey, what have been some of the destinations? How do you experience the journey at times when there is a clear goal in sight, and at times when you feel lost? What has been your attitude toward real or metaphorical potholes, headwinds, or any other difficulites out of your control? In what ways do you resist your life's journey? How could the journey transform if you didn't resist, or allowed the resistance instead of wishing things were different?

In closing, let's smile and appreciate a bit of wisdom from Satchel Page: "Ain't no use hurryin' if you're on the wrong road."

May you find whatever road you are on, to be full of riches, possibilities, learnings, and blessings!

Three big Ms !!!

2010-12-28T13:03:00.000-08:00

Here we are, after solstice and the holidays, and just into the new year... I love this time as an opportunity to reflect and settle -- looking back, looking forward, and still, being right here, now; relishing the long, cozy evenings, taking time for tea and quiet. I hope this time has been rewarding and pleasurable for you too.

Apropos new beginnings: I was cycling along recently and it occurred to me while the title of my book, Becoming: Journeying Toward Authenticity, describes what the book has meant for me, it doesn't really do a good job of communicating what I hope the volume can do for its readers. As I rolled along, the phrase Maximize Memorable Moments occurred to me! Three big Ms!

So what do I mean by this? Each essay addresses a 'memorable moment' in my life: some of them were ones that hurt (e.g. The Road to Hell, page 156), or that startled or jolted me in some way (Treasure Trove, page 78), or that opened doors (Look Where You Want to Go, page 112), either in that very moment or in the days and years to come, or that rained down on my life like fireworks (Being Alone, page 31)!

That's two Ems. Memorable Moments. Big ones. Ones that made a lasting impression.

But we all have an abundance of moments that hurt, surprise, jolt us, and they aren't always ones we even want to remember, let alone 'maximize.' So what about that third M?

By Maximize, I mean take the full value from, digest, metabolize, yes, even celebrate! In writing Becoming, the process of recalling these memorable moments, plus the rethinking that was needed to articulate them, meant that each one took on deeper meaning, became richer and gained dimensions compared to being just moments in my life, even memorable ones.

And that is what I wish for us as we move toward into the new year, a new decade: that you may recognize moments in your life as memorable: reading with a grandchild, being hurt or ignored by someone you value, noticing the glint of a sunbeam on a tree or the mountains...

Let us take the time, bring the presence and awareness to rec0gnize these moments, and bring consciousness to them so they may enrich us, and recognize the learning, the teaching they offer.

May they make us more alive, full of life! A major bonus, of course, is that by doing this, we contribute to the evolution of consciousness, ours and that of the cosmos!

Happy New Year, and blessings to you and yours!

Suggestions!

2010-12-16T10:01:00.000-08:00

May I be so bold as to suggest some considerations for your giving this season? If you're not interested, you can click on an uplifting Flash Mob performance and carry on with your day :-)

Where ever you are, and whatever you do with this list of suggestions, warm greetings and blessings, and happiness, peace, and joy for the holidays.

Jill

Certainly there are always green and social service gifts, which are clearly good choices. In this note I am suggesting items created by friends of mine, and which cover a broad range of interests: an enchanting children's CD, a riveting historical, psychological, page-turner; an intriguing numerology volume; tools for tapping in to your inner knowing, and a personal invitation to maximize the memorable moments in our lives.

Something for everyone! And you would be supporting local talent! Have a browse :-)

• My dear friend, singer and songwriter Peggy Rose has produced a wonderful CD for children. Our grandchildren love her songs, stories and poems, her warmth and humour. The CD contains a broad variety of themes and rhythms. The songs, stories and poems have a timeless quality, and have been favourites with our children for years now. Her CDs is called Peggy Rose's Musical Storybook, Volume 1. Peggy also has another recording (basement tape quality) called November Rose: Songs of Peace and Love. Both tapes are priced at $10 plus $2 for mailing if necessary. Please contact Peggy at 604-921-7585 or peggystortz@shaw.ca

• A treasured and talented colleague and friend Carla Rieger has written a page-turning adventure story which could be the perfect selection for someone you know. The Change Artist is in turn autobiographical, historical, psychological, and an entirely compelling look at the potential for personal change and transformation. "Romance, adventure, history, philosophy — it has it all! A thought-provoking page-turner that illuminates a little-known period of history and makes it relevant for today." I like how it describes our lives as works of art. What a gift! Buy it here or here.

• If you're deeply into, or simply curious about, numerology, I have just the ticket. A good friend, Lance Shaler, (who features as one of my mentors in my book, Becoming :-), has written a book which makes numerology accessible and fun. In Why Do Numbers Count Lance accesses decades of research and experience, and goes way beyond 'just' numbers in that he links to metaphors about people, plants, our senses, as well as astrology. In case you know people searching for just the right name for their baby, he also offers Baby Names - Why They Count. I have a friend who was startled and amazed at the depth of Lance's insights, and completely rethought the names they had been considering for their new baby. Purchase here and here.

• Who of us would not like to make our work light, either by including many hands, or bringing to it new and brighter dimensions, awareness, or tools? Well, Kate Sutherland has a brand new book called Make Light Work: 10 Tools for Inner Knowing. Her book gives "10 simple but powerful tools to access the inner insight and wisdom that enables you to both resolve major life events and cope with the little everyday problems like: how to deal with a boss who drives you crazy; what food options are best for you or your family; or how to navigate home when an accident snarls traffic. It’s the ultimate self-help book, revealing practical ways we can find our own answers by tuning in." What is more, the layout is accessible and eminently practical, ready to be picked up and used. Available on line here and here.

• And of course I'd like you to consider my volume, Becoming: Journeying Toward Authenticity. Short essays address universal human themes in an intimate way. Recalling and reflecting on pivotal moments in our lives can take us deeper, help us crack old patterns and become more alive and real. The reflection questions in each chapter invite the reader along on the journey. Becoming makes a perfect gift to end the old year and begin the new -- for yourself, a friend, or someone for whom you need a special gift. Read reviews here, and order through me or on line.

Jill Schroder
BECOMING: JOURNEYING TOWARD AUTHENTICITY
1203-2055 Pendrell St.
Vancouver, BC V6G 1T9

Phone/Fax: 604 662-7561

Thanks and gratitude

2010-11-22T13:37:00.000-08:00

As many in the US prepare for some form of Thanksgiving celebration (it is, I understand, the holiday for and on which more people travel to be together than any other, and the purpose is, ostensibly, to give thanks), I find myself reflecting on the theme of gratitude and thanks in general.

The practice of Naikan comes to mind, a practice which invites us to reflect on what we have received, what we have given, and what 'troubles and difficulties' we have caused. To quote from the Naikan site: It’s as if, standing on top of a mountain, we shift from a zoom lens to a wide-angle lens. Now we can appreciate the broader panorama - our former perspective still included, but accompanied by much that had been hidden. And that which was hidden makes the view extraordinary."

Another way we might put things in perspective is with Billy Collin's poignant poem, Have a listen to The Lanyard, read by Garrison Keillor on Poetry Everywhere. It invites me to reflect on what I have given and received in the course of my lifetime, or in a day, a week, or from a particular person. And you?

As I recall my experience with Naikan, and feel into the sentiments of The Lanyard, I find myself full of gratitude, for the gift of life, of love, for the chance to celebrate the bounties of the earth together, for time alone, for the crystals of snow on the mountain tops and gracing the window, for the dark time of year, the warmth of bodies, grandchildren, joined hands, open hearts....

Blessings to you and yours this holiday season.

Pivotal Moments

2010-10-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to share with you that I will be hosting a book reading through the Vancouver Public Library, Joe Fortes Branch. It is billed as a 'Meet the Author' event, yet I rather think of it as a time to come together to reflect on key moments in our lives. I will select a reading from BECOMING, and then invite a dialogue with participants on the topic.

The theme for the event is Pivotal Moments... recalling and reflecting on those key moments in our lives where something shifted for us -- people, places, events which created 'ah ha' experiences, ones that pushed our boundaries, opened new doors, transformed our perspectives or stories in some significant way...

And here's where you come in. I'd be pleased to hear from you about which essay you would suggest we choose -- one that spoke to you personally, one that you find would be appropriate for an introduction to the book, one that you have found works well in circles and discussion groups...

You can respond by posting a comment on this site, or write to jill.schroder@gmail.com.

If by any chance you are new to the site, you can have a look at BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity by going to the website or visiting Amazon, where you can also read some reviews to get a flavor for the volume.

I look forward to hearing from you, and perhaps to seeing you at the reading on Sunday, Nov. 7. We will meet at 2:00 pm in the Barclay Room of the West End Community Centre, across from the library there, at Haro and Denman in Vancouver. Admission is free, seating is limited.

Cutting the Mustard

2010-09-10T11:42:00.001-07:00

One of the first essays in BECOMING, is called Cutting the Mustard. It's in the section Growing Up, and after spending a great deal of time with many of my grandchildren this summer, I am poignantly reminded of the wonders and challenges of this business of 'growing up.' Indeed, I think most of us never complete the job!

Consider this lovely image of a mustard plant...the close up reminds me of how sometimes we are so close to our challenging issues that it's hard to get a perspective on them. We 'become' our anger, the frustration, the resentment... and have no space in our consciousness to see or hold a bigger picture: that what we are experiencing is an emotion, that it is not who we are, that there are choices involved, that we can see things a different way... We are living a freeze frame, which can keep us out of touch with our joy, from the flow, for much of of our lives.

One 'Significant Emotional Experience' (SEE) from my childhood involved mustard :-). It featured majorly in my personal work for decades. (Old grooves lie deep, and are hard to change!) My parents had guests over for dinner, and I was invited down to say hello before being whisked off to bed. I was about three years old. When I asked what was in a dish on the dinner table, people said, "Try it." Well I did. It was bitter and surprising, and I must have made a pinched face. Everyone laughed, and I felt (though I wouldn't have been able to put a word to it at that time), humiliated. This single experience colored the way I experienced new situations, ones that involved mistakes, or stepping out of familiar patterns, for a very long time.

Let tiny mustard seeds stand for the seemingly small events in our lives, our SEEs. Yet they have the power to grow, and grow, and grow... and come to exert a surprisingly powerful effect on our lives, our sense of self, our ability to simply be ourselves and live at ease and with authenticity.

After recalling and working with my mustard experience many times, it has finally lost its charge, and my fear of humiliation has faded... it's more OK to make mistakes, to look foolish. The possibility of failure, or not being good at something new, doesn't hold the terror it did for me for a long time. (Now, while mistakes are OK, I certainly still like to be right! Just kidding!)

Actually, when I try to think back to the time when the humiliation frame was around many of my pictures, I almost can't remember what that was like. It's quite amazing. Our early grooves lie very deep, but it is indeed possible to change them, with hard work, and lots of repetition.

New studies on neural pathways, brain plasticity, our early 'wiring' and how it can be changed, support this experience. The good news: we can change patterns and beliefs that are no longer serving us. The bad news: it takes a long time and hard work. You might like to check out Laurel Mellin 's approach, which is backed by years of experience with clients and the latest scientific research. I recommend her books The Pathway, and Wired for Joy.

It's almost as though I've stepped back and can see the whole field now, and neither the mustard seed, nor the single plant that grew in my garden, loom large, or take up the whole frame. I can see the beauty of the panorama, and have some choice about where I put my attention!

I invite you to reflect on a significant emotional experience in your life. How has it been, or is it still, limiting for you? If so, in what ways? Take some time to experiment with telling the story in a different way. What do you notice in your body? How do you feel when you consider 'dropping' the old version of the story and adopting a new one?

Your comments and contributions are most welcome! If you have enjoyed this exploration, please consider purchasing BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or in Vancouver at Banyen Books.

Children -- Oh, the children!

2010-07-27T11:00:00.000-07:00

We have just enjoyed a number of family visits -- reunions with far flung children and grandchildren, home visits with closer groups. The time together puts me in mind of the numerous ways that children influence and shape our lives.

What are the ways you have found children to be formative, possibly transformative, in your life? Your own children, nieces and nephews, grandchildren... they all touch us.

One way they touch us is that children can remind us of how we came to be who we are. "There are no seven wonders in the eyes of a child, there are seven million." -- Walt Steightiff

We have the opportunity to be with them as they evolve from open, undefended bundles of presence to the unique, distinctive packages of personhood that they each become, inevitably. If we view their unfoldment from a larger perspective, observing how this happens, we can sometimes notice what effect these little personalities can have on our own, and we have an extremely illuminating tool that can contribute to our own journey of awakening, our own journey toward authenticity, toward being our true selves.

In BECOMING, a full chapter is devoted to the gifts I have received from grandchildren in my life, for example reminders of our inherent vitality and easy confidence, ("Who wants to play with the amazing Me?" she said at four, arms open and up high!); really paying attention, full attention; experiencing awe, wonder, unfettered, unconditional joy; giggling and gurgling for no apparent reason; intrepid, unfazed determination, courage and strength; contactfulness, easy personal connection, free from doubt, second-guessing; fearless availability and full responsiveness to the magic of the world... to name just a few!

And then there's also the other side! I've had conversations with parents who are stymied at times, exhausted, daunted, perplexed, and exasperated at the cumulative effect of the 'NO, I won't, and you can't make me!', the push-back and defiant modes, seemingly endless self-focus, lack of cooperation, stubbornness. How 'unreasonable' they can be! What the heck can one 'do'? How the heck can one 'be' with these beings?

Recently a young father observed that reading Eckhard Tolle's A New Earth had made a remarkable difference in his capacity to be present and patient with his children during the crunchy times. He went on to say how this new way of being was as much a gift to his kids, as to himself. I was touched by the conversation, and see it as a perfect example of how being with, and raising, children is really about continuing to 'raise ourselves', about our being willing and able to look at our triggers, and to inquire about why this or that behavior gets to us so deeply!

I like to believe that our children 'chose' us as their parents, and that together we have almost a destiny to give and share love and the good times life offers, but also to teach and learn from each other. Wes Stafford says, "Every child you encounter is a divine appointment."

So I leave you with two questions, to reflect on the sweet, rich, profound gifts, as well as the irksome and agonizing triggers and times, (whether in waking hours or during the long nights) that we experience with children: What might be some of the lessons that the children in your life are offering to you? Are you 'getting' the message?!

BECOMING : Journeying Toward Authenticity has several essays about these themes, life lessons, children, ways we learn. Perhaps you might like to check it out, give yourself and the children in your lives the gift of continuing to grow up! Other books that you might be interested in are Annie Burnside's Soul to Soul Parenting : A Guide to Raising a Spiritually Conscious Family, great for grandparents too!, and Anne Hillman's illuminating volume Awakening the Energies of Love : Discovering Fire for the Second Time. When we are tapped in to the larger space of transformative love, we have so much more to bring to the daily ups and downs.

You might also enjoy checking out the Becoming website -- and explore various ways the volume has been fruitful for people -- in therapy, spiritual and ongoing discussion groups, study circles, as a tool for self-reflection, aid in journaling. Your comments, questions, suggestions are always welcome!

Use It or Lose It!

2010-06-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Today is the longest day of this year -- Summer Solstice. Within a week I will be heading to a Fire Island beach for a family reunion, staying in the same community where I spent many summers as a child -- my parents actually met each other there.

As I think about the walks, jogs on the beach, the sandy push-ups we will do together, the sand castles we will build with grandchildren, the frisbees we will throw, the good conversations we will have, and food prepared and saavored together, I am filled with gratitude. Here is my solstice wish for you: May you have enjoyable summer days -- long, delicious, some leisurely, some active, some reflective -- full of flow, grace, pleasure, awareness, joy.

But back to running on the beach. This year, actually, for the first time in my life, I may not be able to do the kind of free, full-on, carefree running I would like to.

Why? Well, my body says, 'No. That's not smart -- not anymore." When I let that sink in, considerable sadness arises... I could rage at aging... That, however, is another topic. How to be with the inevitable shifts that come with passing years and aging bodies...We'll come back to that sometime! What I'd like to look at more closely here, though, is the notion of 'Use It or Lose It.'

One of the essays in BECOMING explores the material in depth. Maybe you'd like to have a look :-) I find that 'use it or lose it' has validity in many areas, physical, mental, emotional, and not the least, in the spiritual dimension as well.

What also interests me, however, is the motivation behind the question. Who and what says, 'Use it or lose it!' to us? Is it some inner critic, gremlin, or super ego, menacing, harsh and unforgiving -- based in fear or negativity? For most of us this might be the case, at least sometimes. Just listen for a moment to the tone of voice -- its inflection and quality will be a dead give-away! Is it the critic? If so, blow it off. Just say no! :-) That's not what any of us needs! (Years of personal work go into this, but when we can actually say 'Be Gone' to our inner critics, we've won a big victory!)

It might however be a voice that says, 'What a day-to day' affair life is!' (Jules Laforgue), a voice that rings with enthusiasm, which exhorts us to 'Go for it, Live it up, enjoy and relish life to the hilt!' Even if it doesn't make sense to run full-out any more...there are beach walks at dawn or dusk, yoga in the sand. And tennis with the grandchildren, that should work! :-)

You get the gist. While I believe that 'use it or lose it' is clearly true -- it applies to sexuality, empathic communication, concentration and awareness, patience, memory, muscles, hearing (to name just a few) -- we truly don't need to take it from the critic.

While I am not in charge of life, or the way it unfolds and changes, I am part of, and actually, one with, the flow. I do not control it, yet my personal choices have implications and consequences. Every day I can listen to the kinder, gentler voice and see what choices it might suggest to me that day -- to treasure and value, preserve and enjoy. the temple that are my body and mind for this section of the journey.

Someone who is clearly going for the gusto is Suzann Kingston -- a feisty Vancouver author who writes and blogs about body image and being fully alive. She'd had a fall on her roller blades, Mike helped her up, (read about it here!), and we started talking, right there on the sea wall. It was a tingling conversation, and we are pleased at the new connection.

If you are intrigued by the 'use it or lose it' challenge, consider these Questions for Reflection: What affect does 'use it or lose it' have on you, primarily: does it create fear and negativity, or inspiration and enthusiasm? In what areas of your life in particular does it make sense to 'use it'? What are some dimensions and facets of your life in which you are willing to invest time and energy to maintain, and around which it might be just fine to become more loose?

Right now a moment of time is passing by! We must become that moment," Paul Cezanne

What's a Mother?

2010-05-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

All of us have profound, often tangled, deep, and complex connections to mothers, whether we like it or not. Our relationship to our mothers is a core issue that all people interested in the spiritual journey, in living more consciously come across, sooner, rather than later! We all had a mother, we all have them as friends, and many of us are mothers ourselves. Some of us, see the picture to the right, have been or are still are 'Mothers in the Middle,' in relationship both with our own parents, and dealing with the inexorable changes that come with aging, and at the same time we're also challenged and gifted by the relationships to our children.

"What's a Mother?" is an essay in BECOMING that addresses the issue of what being a mother actually means, how it feels, smells, sounds, resides in our body...to two people connected to the same mother :-) My grown son Martin and I had a conversation one fine summer day that began with some consternation and confusion, and ended with warmth and deepening connections. I began by saying, "I'm so glad I don't have to be your mother anymore." Martin looked puzzled and a bit alarmed, and returned, "But I want you to be my mother. Don't say that!" We were obviously on different pages, and maybe even reading different books!

At the time I was taking conflict resolution training, and one of the skills that were touted was to ask open questions -- to help put ourselves into the other person's shoes, to get a feel for their experience. And happily, in that moment of puzzlement and disconnect, I thought to explore what 'mother' meant to each of us.

For me the associations with 'mother' included joy and wonder, love and caring -- yes, for sure -- but, as a mother in the middle, I was still painfully in touch with the tinges of criticism that I had felt from my mother, her expectations... Add to that my recollection of wakeful nights, aching and wondering what was best for my children, my having expectations and hopes for their well-being, but not wanting to lay my views and values too heavily on them... So it was a very mixed bag, and I was pleased to be moving beyond that push-pull of parental responsibility to a cleaner adult connection, more like being friends, connecting in a more equal way.

And it was a pleasant and illuminating surprise to hear Martin's associations -- the set of experiences and feelings about what 'mother' meant to him... They are recounted on pages 92-94, if you'd like to see! Each child will be different, of course, but that day opened up wide worlds for Martin and me.

Do these musings wake some 'mother' recollections, maybe challenges, in your own life? Perhaps you might like to reflect on your own experiences: What does the word 'mother' mean to you? What do you think it meant(means) to your mother? If you were to have a real or imaginary conversation with your mother about what mothering meant, what would you like to say? You might even try this, using two chairs. When you sit in one chair, speak for yourself, and then move to the other, and speak as you think your mother might speak. When each mother feels complete, has said what is important to her, see what new information emerged.

Now that I am no longer 'mother in the middle,' but the nearly the oldest of the mothers in my extended family, I am relishing being a grandmother, which one of our friends calls 'recreational parenting.' :-) It is fascinating to dialogue with the mothers in my life about their views, their values, their challenges, their considerations. There is so much to read these days, so many suggestions, admonitions, perspectives to consider... It can be quite daunting.

In this regard, a new book on parenting has just come out that I would love to have had as a resource back then. It's called Soul to Soul Parenting : A guide to raising spiritually conscious family, by Annie Burnside. One reviewer has called Annie "the Eckhart Tolle of parenting"! :-) Annie brings into focus an vital dimension of conscious parenting, and her book is a gift to parents, children, and grandparents alike.

Apropos both of being in the middle, and wanting to raise a spiritually conscious family, here is a quote from Pema Chodron, a respected and beloved Buddhist teacher:

"We are told about the pain of chasing after pleasure and the futility of running from pain. We hear also about the joy of awakening, of realizing our interconnectedness, of trusting the openness of our hearts and minds. But we aren't told all that much about this state of being in-between, no longer able to get our old comfort from the outside but not yet dwelling in a continual sense of equanimity and warmth.

Anxiety, heartbreak, and tenderness mark the in-between state. It's the kind of place we usually want to avoid. The challenge is to stay in the middle rather than buy into struggle and complaint. The challenge is to let it soften us rather than make us more rigid and afraid. Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere only makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the middle, compassion arises spontaneously. By not knowing, not hoping to know, and not acting like we know what's happening, we begin to access our inner strength.

Yet it seems reasonable to want some kind of relief. If we can make the situation right or wrong, if we can pin it down in any way, then we are on familiar ground. But something has shaken our habitual patterns and frequently they no longer work. Staying with volatile energy gradually becomes more comfortable than acting it out or repressing it....Staying with it is what heals. It allows us to let go of our self-importance. It's how the warrior learns to love."

If this resonates, have a look at some of her books. You might want to start with Start Where You Are!

Aligning with Love

2010-04-26T22:28:00.001-07:00

"Love is extolled by poets, tawdry and brilliant alike. For songwriters it’s a near ubiquitous theme. Scarcely a bestselling book or film lacks a love interest. Mystics avow that ‘God is Love.’ The Beatles sing ‘All you need is love.’ No doubt about it, love is a biggie."

Thus begins the essay in BECOMING called Aligning with Love. But what does love even mean? How do we love? What about love and Love? These questions have beleaguered me, and there have been times when it has seemed as though I don't know love, or how to love. The essay continues:

"Sometimes it has felt as though there is a yawning hole where my heart should be, a hard knot in my chest, closed and defended. I have been alarmed at times, and saddened, at the occasions and ways I am shut down, numbed out and deadened, like a proverbial zombie. "

Part of the confounding is that love has so many meanings, and is so hyped in our culture, if not lived. As I delved into my experience, it became clear that the love I wanted to know--explore, live, embody--was not romantic love, parental love, or the love of friend or even devotees. I'd call these forms of love, love writ with a small 'l'. They are important, beautiful, and have their place, in our hearts and the evolution of our species.

But there is a kind of Love that is deeper, beyond the personal, though it can manifest in a personal way. It's mysterious, universal, inside us but not only...poets like Rumi write about it,
mystics breathe it...spiritual traditions point to it...

Hear Teilhard de Chardin: "Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides , and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of Love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, humanity will have discovered fire." Chardin is speaking of Love with a capital 'L'. What is this Love? How do we know it, be it, do it? Or can we? What happens when we live it, succumb to it, are enveloped by it?

Through a mutual friend, Suzanne Barois, (integrally involved with transformation and human potential through the Be the Change Earth Alliance), I have serendipitously come to connect with Anne Hillman. Her work speaks to these questions in a profound and universal way.

Anne was inspired, deeply and early on, by this quote of Chardin's, and her recent book Awakening to the Energies of Love: Discovering Fire for the Second Time, is a rich, thoughtful treatise on these energies and their capacity for transformation.

Awakening provides a context for the big questions, and moves us toward understanding, resolution, and a new level of consciousness and capacity for love. And it's high time! Anne says "We stand at an evolutionary juncture, called to awaken to a new kind of Love. This Love is not a feeling; it is a great power...The power of Love initiates a complete change of mind--the fundamental transformation..." that when we awaken to it, is indeed akin to the discovery of fire.

I invite you to hear the call, to explore the depths, to listen to the whisper that there is something deeper, grander, fuller in us, and we in it, than we experience in our daily lives. It's truly an Invitation to Awakening, which is the title of the first chapter in Anne's book, and the book itself.

Helen Keller wisely counsels that "the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."

If touching on these topics has ignited the fire in your heart, you might want to consider these

Questions for Relection: What is your relationship to Love, to the energy, to the flow, the power of it? Name some ways that you touch into Love in your life. What is your experience of yourself when you are loving? What assumptions and beliefs do you have about love and Love? How do they limit or expand your capacity to align with Love?

You may purchase BECOMING on line, or ask your local bookstore to order it. BECOMING can be a valuable therapeutic tool as well. Read a therapist's perspective on its numerous benefits. Another idea: the collections of essays makes a good option for your book or study group!

Gardens, Gifts, and Butterflies

2010-03-31T19:10:00.001-07:00

"There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again." Elizabeth Lawrence

It's spring at last, on the calendar, but also in our hearts and in the air, as well as in our gardens -- a time of rejuvenation, birth, transformation, growth and change. Gardens all over are bursting with vibrant life!

Fitting for the season, I offer you an excerpt from an essay in BECOMING called Gardens and Gifts:

"There are many kinds of gardens in our lives, not just the ones that grow flowers or vegetables. One could think of a circle of friends as a kind of garden, the arrangement of our cupboards, the plates and herbs we choose, the range of jobs we’ve held…

The life of an octogenarian Austrian great-grandma I know comprised several kinds of gardens. Recalling Oma’s variety of gardens has helped me reflect on mine. I have found the metaphor of 'Life itself as a Garden' to be fruitful (pun intended) and munificent.

Oma has a vital and robust will to live, even under her present challenging circumstances. She is in her nineties now, frail, confused, wizened, but her face can shine like a fading flower’s last bloom as, with her sense of humor and unrelenting determination, she decides anew to make the best of the situation.

Oma ... has modeled for me in a way that made a lasting impression—how to cultivate the beautiful and useful, savor the honey and honeysuckle along the way, and not to pay unnecessary attention to the weeds or irritations, only deal with them if they’re choking other growing things.

We’re always planting seeds, whether we are aware of it or not. We never know when we may have planted a seed that will bear fruit some time, some place. It’s also probable, sometimes sooner, sometimes later, that we reap what we sow. 'Life as a garden' is alive, and can enchant, instruct, and nourish ourselves and others."

If you find the metaphor useful, here are some questions for reflection: How does your garden grow? What sorts of seeds do you believe you are planting? If the fruit they bear are not exactly what you intended, what seeds would you like to plant and how could you nurture them? What are some ‘weeds’ in your garden and how do you relate to them? What are some aspects of your ‘garden’ that you particularly treasure and why?

As we go about tending the various gardens in our lives, or the garden of our life, let us also pay attention to the butterflies! Elisabet Sahtouris, an evolution biologist and futurist, offers this: "An old unsustainable system fights to preserve itself as a new system struggles to be born... There is no point in being angry with it and there is n need to worry about defeating it. The task is to focus on building the butterfly, the success of which depends on powerful positive and creative efforts in all aspects of society and alliances build among those engaged in them."

Let's tend our gardens and build more butterflies this spring!

You may purchase BECOMING on line, or ask your local bookstore to order it. It can be a valuable therapeutic tool as well. Read a therapist's perspective on its value. And another idea: the collections of essays makes a good option for your book or study group :-)

Flow and Awareness

2010-02-25T10:49:00.000-08:00

What is the connection between a spiritual way, a path, and our activities in the world -- our craft, our work? Carla Needleman, potter and author, has written provocatively on this topic in her book, The Work of Craft. Even asking the question leads us to approach our relationship between the spiritual dimensions and our day-to-day activities with a wider perspective.

Stepping back from the usual grind of our stories and patterns, we can perhaps begin to discover that beneath our habitual activities we can sense connectedness, yes also interconnectedness. The theory of butterfly effect explores the rippling, expanding waves of sensitive dependence, where systems (and we ourselves are a system too), can unfold in a multitude of different ways from any given point, and it's impossible to predict--precisely because of the intricate interdependencies--where we will go--or, in spiritual terms, how we will unfold.

Here's the kicker: as we understand more about brain plasticity and how the brain works--indeed how learning changes our brains--and as modern psychodynamic insights reveal more about how we become the personalities we are -- we are led back to the critical role that attention and awareness play in our development-- how they actually affect the directions we take and how we unfold.

What are we paying attention to as we work and play, as we eat and relax? Are we present, are in touch with being, or are we stuck in stories about ourselves and others? Are we 'here, now,' or are our minds and psyches dwelling in the past and/or the future, as Richard Moss, in his seminal work The Mandala of Being suggests? Where is our attention, our awareness as we go about our lives and work? The answer can be part of a tipping point toward being, creativity, ease, richness, and joy.

I offer up an invitation to reflect on awareness today... what are we paying attention to, what's happening in our body, our mind, our belly, as we go about our craft, our leisure, our lives?

If you would like to explore this in your volume of BECOMING, we address these questions and connections in several essays, in particular in Flow, on page 189 ff: "We can be very involved in any given activity--teaching, reading, balancing a checkbook...and we can be quite focused and alert, but not aware...more or less running on automatic. ...Flow has to do with the degree to which we actually bring full awareness to the activity, are embodied, fully present to what we're doing." It is then as if we have added an extra dimension to our bodies and to our experience... focused and alert, yet also aware and richly in our being.

"Without knowing quite how it happens, not really being the doer, but nevertheless showing up, paying attention, being present...opening my mind and heart, I am in sync with the flow, I am lived, I am flow."

Questions for reflection: Consider a specific activity in your life, a familiar one that you sometimes do on automatic pilot. How do you experience this activity in your usual, everyday mode? Now describe what it could be like to be engaged in this activity when you are fully aware, present, in your body, in the flow? How do, or might, the insights affect your experience of the activity? Of your life?

You may purchase BECOMING on line, or ask your local bookstore to order it! A good option for your book or study group :-)

Circles of Awareness

2010-01-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to tell you that we have added a new tab on the BECOMING website, Therapy and Counselling. I would like to thank Kathy Barnhart, marriage and family therapist (and talented photographer!), Toni Pieroni, registered counselor and Imago therapist, and Larry Butler, hypnotherapist and webmaster, all dear friends of mine -- Kathy for suggesting that BECOMING would be of great use as a therapeutic tool, Toni for writing a draft text of the 'how and why' of this new approach, and Larry for his generous, intensive, and extensive work on the website.

Here are some of the therapeutic benefits Toni mentions, that may come of reading and using BECOMING:

• To help individuals see their own life story as a story of 'becoming'
• To increase self-awareness and compassion for self and others
• To develop and strengthen their “observer” self (Brain science is showing that benefits to health and well-being come from developing that capacity.)
• To help people see that 'how' they tell their story impacts their perspective and feelings about their life – and that there may be more than one way to perceive one’s life.
• To help clients, or individuals, journal in a productive and meaningful way and help them break out of the circular looping the mind can often get stuck in.
• To have a way of seeing life’s journey as a process
• To assist clients in engaging more deeply with their own lives – taking on the task of 'authenticity'

If you know therapists, perhaps you could make them aware of this post or the website where there is further discussion of the topic. If you are a therapist yourself, well, voila! :-)

It becomes increasingly clear that readers are finding BECOMING valuable and rewarding on their personal journeys, and this additional use may be another way to expand the circles of awareness, reflection, and growth.

In gratitude for our interconnections, mutual enrichment, and with joy and pleasure in the shared journey,

Jill

WHO AM I...

2010-01-14T12:25:00.000-08:00

and why am I here? How long do I have? What’s it all about?

Most of us grapple with big questions like these at some time in our lives. Even more so during transitions or times of crisis: moves, challenges in our work situation, our or our children’s lives, the death of loved a one, illness....

The beginning of a new year is also a time when many of us reflect on our lives, and it’s good so. There’s much to be gained by viewing and reviewing our journeys. Important too that this be without blame or judgement, of ourselves or others. No inner critic needed here!

There’s a bumper sticker that says, “Maybe the Hokey Pokey is what it’s all about!” I do chuckle whenever I see it on a car’s tail end. Lightness is also a quality that serves us well as we travel. It can invite us to go deeper. When I see that bumper sticker I take a deep breath, come into myself and return to the present moment – not always where I was!

A useful tool in reflecting on our journeys is to consider our parents’ lives. Carl Jung has said, “Nothing has a stronger influence on children that the unlived lives of their parents.” Two essays in BECOMING, ‘Being Alone’ and Finding My Niche’ explore this context and conclude with some probing questions: What do you see as your mother’s ‘unfinished business? What might this mean to and for you? How have your father’s choices affected your life? How might it be useful for you to address these issue in your life now?

BECOMING on line has a Search Inside feature now :-) If you’re inclined, go to Amazon and have a look. Better yet, consider a copy of your own as an invitation and accompaniment for your own reflections for 2010. There’s ordering information on the website.

Here’s another rich resource: Eckhart Tolle’s bestseller, A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose, Chapter 7 starts with these words: "Know Thyself. What those words imply is this: Before you ask any other question, first ask the most fundamental question of your life: Who am I?" Tolle suggests to “Sit in silence and internally repeat, ‘Who am I?’ ‘Who am I?’ ‘Who am I?’ Be still and listen. Repeat the question and listen again in the silence. What did you experience? How was the question ‘Who am I?’ answered?”

Maybe you’ll come across the Hokey Pokey! Probably not :-)

I welcome your comments on this blog, and would be pleased if you tell someone about the blog and website if you find them useful.

Gratitude

2009-12-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

Something I treasure in these days 'between the years' (which is what the week between Christmas and New Year is called in German speaking countries), is reflecting on the year just past, and filling up a couple of pages with things I am grateful for: time with children and grandchildren, health, the Canadian medical system, the newly formed Wild Salmon Circle which I co-founded; the celebratory launch of my new book and the heartwarming praise readers have bestowe d on it; for the many positive directions Obama has taken the country and the world...

Then, after basking in this richness, for gratitude is indeed transformative, I enjoy creating a list of goals -- actually more like intentions -- for the coming year. At this point, I like to review last year's lists, and see which intentions have manifested, which are no longer relevant, which I might like to recommit to. For the notes I make at year end do not comprise a 'should' list, but rather are an invitation to the universe, and a declaration of my openness to move in these directions. I don't really look at them as the year unfolds, but find it helpful and interesting to peruse them as I create next year's.

I love this reflective process, this opening to a deeper place, a quiet self, settling in to a receptive mode... simply being...

As we cozy in for some more weeks of short days, and at the same time celebrate the return of the light and the coming of the new year, I offer this shared wish for you: "May the increased sunlight each day help you prepare for the coming year... And throughout the new year may you have new opportunities to love and be loved, to do good for others, and to find happiness in your life." Quote from Jane's brother, Steve :-)

Giving Peace

2009-12-09T11:27:00.001-08:00

It can be overwhelming, this season of giving, especially when the issues that face us, economically and environmentally seem as dark as the days.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.”

As I let that sink in, I find that it invites both relief and responsibility, in matters large and small, personal and universal. One author says she believes "world peace is achieved and sustained by each one of us taking responsibility for the quality of what happens within a five foot radius of our own bodies, in our own lives. If there is peace in my radius and yours and his and hers and theirs—then there is peace in all of ours." (Cited on C. Baldwin's Storycatcher blog)

May this holiday season be filled with joy -- contagious, delicious, bubbling joy; peace -- a peace that resides inside us and radiates luminously to touch all those we meet; and gratitude -- the kind that has no source, but seems to arise from the universal mystery. May these be yours to taste and savor, and to share with ever widening circles. May there be peace on earth and let it begin in and with each of us.

Joy and celebration are life-giving. Shall We Dance?

2009-11-20T13:50:00.000-08:00

Not long ago I heard a CBC program that focussed on the importance of celebrations -- music, dance, both alone and together. My heart smiled! Ecstatic dancing has actually been a way communities have helped their members out of depression -- dark periods of withdrawal, melancholy.

Several of the essays in BECOMING explore metaphors for life and living. Shall We Dance? suggests that many of us, consciously or unconsciously, experience and regard life as a struggle. What would happen if we shifted, lifted, and began to experience life as a dance?

Here a brief excerpt from the essay, and a link to the YouTube reading at the book launch:

"Life for me is, on good days, a wild and gently rhythmic dance. Moreover, I believe we are danced by life and are not, as we often pridefully assume, the directors of the dance.

I haven’t always seen it this way. One evening, over twenty years ago, it was getting dark as I was driving home from a workshop with Robert, an acquaintance and fellow student. That drive became a turning point in my life.

The sky was ragged—ominous, black clouds were scudding across the heavens, matching my state of mind. I was talking about my relationship, the communication challenges, the misunderstandings, the hurt. Robert was driving, and without even turning to look at me, said “You see life as a struggle, don’t you, Jill.”

Robert’s words startled me, and I realized that yes, of course, that was often the way I saw and experienced difficult times, and more generally, life itself: as a struggle, a battle, a fight. It seemed obvious to me, and I had never questioned it. Life as a struggle implied working hard, trying your best to survive, to come out on top.

So when Robert said “You can also experience life as a dance, you know, Jill,” something cracked, and through the fracture I could see a pale light.

Driving home with Robert that day, it was still dark, and would get darker, but there was a golden sliver of luminosity on the horizon that evening in Germany: life can be experienced as a dance, rather than a struggle."

Here's how to order BECOMING

Perfect for groups and circles!

2009-11-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

Do you belong to a discussion group of any kind -- spiritual, women's, church, book, study, support? Consider Becoming as your next book or topic. The topics touch us all.

it's nice to read by yourself, but the larger potential of the book emerges in groups. Deepening connections, broadening, even therapeutic insights, good fun, laughs and tears -- these can all occur when a group chooses Becoming as its focus. The format, short 3-5 page essays, and the questions for reflection mean it is optimal for your group, and just right, ready to use.

Becoming is available in several convenient modes, on line or in person. Your bookstore may also be able to order the copies for your group.

Check my website for the ordering options. I'd be pleased to hear your comments if your group chooses Becoming for its focus.

Search inside this book :-)

2009-10-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Have you noticed, BECOMING is now available internationally on Amazon, and also at Barnes and Noble? An additional, helpful feature newly on line is that you can 'look inside the book '-- view the back cover, the table of contents, and even page through an essay or two.

What's more, it's now possible to order BECOMING for your local bookstore -- many distributors can supply it. So have a look, then invite your favorite bookstore to order some copies...

I say some copies, because comments and reviews are coming in that BECOMING works splendidly for reading circles, discussion groups, women's or spiritual gatherings...

"Without leaving my home, I know the whole universe." Lau-Tsu

"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to
look through each other's eyes for an instant." Henry Thoreau

This Saturday is International Day of Climate Action. October 24, 2009. Let's all join in and show we care, and that climate change matters to us all. Lily Tomlin said "We're all in this alone, together." Right! Check this site to find an action near you, or do your own thing."

Be inspired by Christina Baldwin's new blogpost on the topic: 350: this number is hugely important for our times.

Reader's comment

2009-10-01T13:38:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, spiritual adventurers, fellow travelers on life's journey,

Here is the most recent reader's review of BECOMING. I hope it might pique your interest in delving into the volume!

"Quite wonderful, really. Your style is easy, engaging, alluring. Your language is clean and precise, your form masterfully simple.

It's not easy to use the first person, especially regarding spirituality, without distracting or annoying the reader with traces of ego or pedantry. Your reader is invited to share the journey, and willingly does so, sensing both the truth of the path, and the unconditional invitation. You present yourself as a seeker rather than a master, thus welcoming and disarming other potentially hesitant seekers, and encouraging them by admitting your all-too-frail humanity. All of which is underscored with a deep abiding wisdom. Even famous spiritual leaders may have their writings rejected by publishers; your success with this book is both well-deserved, and all the more outstanding.

As you touch others, as their eyes open, more light spills out, making your own path both more blessed, and all the more easy to follow."

Apropos of touching others, and light spilling out -- you might also like to check out Carla Rieger's blog and Christina Baldwin's Storycatcher. Both authors offer richness, inspiration, and address the possibilities of the transformation through story and circle. You are a story worth telling!

Blessings on you and your journey.

BECOMING is now available on line at Amazon in the US , Canada, and in the UK. Barnes and Nobel carries BECOMING as well.

Inspiration, insights, connections

2009-09-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

Last week I was invited to a women's group which had chosen my book, BECOMING, for their evening discussion. It was a rich and beautiful inquiry and sharing, leading to individual insights, provocative questions, warm connections. Such a gathering and format is a perfect place for the book to be useful, provocative and inspiring.

If you know are part of any such gathering, please keep BECOMING in mind!

The book is very easy to get now because it is available on-line: at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and in the UK.

Want to be inspired? Check out this posting about women, writers, activists gathering with synergy and dynamism: Christina Baldwin's Storycatcher blog Read about her conversations with Gloria Steinem, Isabel Allende, Helen Thomas, and dozens of incredible leaders doing great work in the feminist world.

In these challenging times, "Let us try to remember the precious nature of each day." The 14th Dalai Lama.

Where We Want To Go -- We are already there!

2009-08-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

"The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think." John Burroughs

"If we are not totally blind, that which we are seeking is already here. This is it." Alan Watts

One essay in BECOMING is entitled 'Look Where You Want to Go.' It addresses our tendency to focus on what we don't want. We don't accept what is and stay present with the challenging situation or experience -- No. We rarely do that! Rather we get stuck in our thinking mind and we obsess about the difficulty: we ruminate, brood, wallow, criticize ourselves...

This is not the only way! We can drop into our Being, become aware of what is, breathe consciously, notice what is, create space, and bring a whole different person to the challenge.

Check out the section on 'Breathing Space,' in the book, Mindful Way Through Depression, which, by the way, is not just about depression, but about 'freeing yourself from chronic unhappiness.' Jon Kabat-Zinn and others teach a practical and transformational path that leads in this direction.

BECOMING addresses these themes as well, in a personal yet universal manner. BECOMING is now available on line, at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble , and in the UK Check it out and tell your friends!

Birthdays and challenges

2009-08-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

Today, August 4, is President Obama's birthday. As we wish Happy Birthday to Barack, we may remember how the world stopped to watch him step into this office... What an overwhelming job he's tackled. He needs us, those people– those many among us– who are willing to help slay the dragons, yet we cannot slay them if we (or he) are consumed by them or protecting them! Our and his work is cut out, no doubt. Read more at Christina Baldwin's site: http://storycatcher.net/wordpress

But just what is this work that is cut out for us?

One essay in Becoming is called 'Universe Unfolding,' and it tackles the seeming contradiction Shunryu Suzuki addresses in his quote 'Each one of you is perfect as you are. And you all could use a little bit of improvement!' This paradox surely applies to the world as well.

How do you feel about the perfection of the universe confounded with the turmoil on the planet? What happens as you try to consider both simultaneously? What is appropriate 'work' in your life and worlds at the present time?

Becoming considers these questions and helps us move to personal and universal responses to the juxtaposition of consternation and celebration, greed and grace, apathy and awareness, jousting and joy...

Join the dialogue at Becoming; Journeying Toward Authenticity

Passion, Risk, and Adventure

2009-06-29T20:28:00.001-07:00

Themes addressed in Becoming include transformation, reinventing ourselves, control and surrender.

Sara Lawrence Lightfoot talks about these topics as well in her new book THE THIRD CHAPTER: PASSION, RISK, AND ADVENTURE IN THE 25 YEARS AFTER 50.

"All of us at this point, to some degree, are on a search for meaningfulness, for purposefulness," she says. Listen to Lightfoot's interview with Bill Moyers and be inspired to become yourself. http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/05082009/profile2.html

There comes a time, and that time is now, when we have a degree of freedom to become who we have always wanted to be.

Becoming: Journey Toward Authenticity is an aid to finding ourselves, recognizing, seeing, freeing, and moving on. Explore these and other themes, purchase Becoming, on our new website.

2009-06-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

"The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look underfoot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think." John Burroughs

How many of us took a moment today to 'look underfoot' for the divine? Was it a smile, a flower, a deep breath? BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity is an invitation to the possibilities and opportunities for transformation, how to use our life stories to grow, to become, to live our lives more fully.

Breaking news:

• BECOMING is now available at Banyen Books in Vancouver, a leading new age bookstore. Go in and check it out!

• BECOMING will soon be available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and in the UK. Stay tuned!

"If we are not totally blind, that which we are seeking is already here. This is it." Alan Watts

Warmhearted praise.. add your voice? That would be lovely!

2009-06-09T15:59:00.000-07:00

"We're all in this together -- by ourselves.: Lily Tomlin

People reading my new book, Becoming, are warm in their enthusiasm and praise, which leads me to have the courage to spread the word. I think you would enjoy the read. I invite you to check it out!

Becoming is available at Duthie Books http://www.duthiebooks.com/ 2239 West Fourth Avenue, Vancouver.

And also on line at The Write Room, easy as pie.

You may also contact me directly to arrange a meeting and have a look at the book. I'd love that :-) A portion of all proceeds goes to the Canadian organization, Families for Children -- http://www.familiesforchildren.ca/

Need a gift for a friend? Becoming might be perfect. Have a look.

2009-05-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

If you missed the launch of Becoming, and would like to get the flavo(u)r, and hear a reading, check our YouTube posting: Shall We Dance? :-)

You can also taste a little bit of the Launch itself.

Soon the book will be available on Amazon, but for now, please go to The Write Room and order there.

Also, psssst, tell your friends!

Telling our Stories Part 2

2009-05-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

If you'd like to order Becoming now, just go to The Write Room New Titles. You won't regret it!

Telling our stories: Part 2

We are continually choosing filters and frames for our lives, whether we know and acknowledge it or not.

Don’t make the mistake of underestimating or minimizing the power of stories: they resonate throughout our whole being. A story is something active, even if it is unconscious. It works in and on us. The way we frame our life--the stories we tell--affect the way we hold our past, how we live the present, how we respond in the future.

And our stories themselves provide a vehicle that can help us appreciate and learn from our part in the flow of life. Telling them can shed light on times, places and events that perhaps existed only vaguely, shrouded in the mists of our memories. They can provide insights, epiphanies, evoke laughter and tears. They can give meaning and allow us to put our lives into radically new and unexpected perspectives.

By reflecting on who we were, we begin a process of discovering who we have become through our life experiences. We can move toward presence and authenticity in part by becoming cognizant of our stories, the filters and frames we use to tell them, by learning from them and beginning to detach from them. We can let go of the accounts per se, because we have been able to extract the nutrients, and we can let them nourish us today, now, here, in present time on our own personal journey.

In Becoming: Journeying Toward Authenticity, you will find 40 some life stories, about a variety of unisersal, human themes. Each essay contains related readings and questions for reflection to invite you into your own stories.

Reflections: Tell your life story, highlighting key segments, in the form of two separate tales, one with your glass ‘half full,’ the other where your glass is seen as ‘half empty.’ What feelings do you have, what happens inside your body as you feel into each piece? What experiences have you digested and which ones are still in process? What stands out that you might like to explore more deeply?

Find out more about Becoming on the ChangeEverything website. Order your copy at http://www.thewriteroom.net/newtitles.html

Related reading:
Almaas, A. H. (1988). The Pearl Beyond Price: Integration of personality into Being: An object relations approach. Berkeley: Diamond Books
Baldwin, Christina (1991). Life’s Companion: Journal writing as a spiritual quest. NY: Bantam Books
Davis, John (1999). The Diamond Approach: An introduction to the teachings of A. H. Almaas. Boston: Shambhala
King, Stephen (2000). On Writing: A memoir of the craft. NY: Simon & Schuster
Remen, Rachel Naomi (2006). Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that heal. NY: Penguin Books

Telling our stories: why and how it matters

2009-05-17T20:15:00.000-07:00

“Words are how we think: story is how we link.

Memory is the story of what happened and is where the meaning resides.

Story is a map: the map that got one person through gets the next person through." (Christina Baldwin)

We are continually choosing filters and frames for our lives, whether we know and acknowledge it or not. These then become our life stories, and we have the option, if we are conscious, to choose filters that contribute to our growth and maturation.

Becoming: Journeying Toward Authenticity, contains some 40 some life stories, about a variety of unisersal, human themes. Each essay contains related readings and questions for reflection to invite you into your own stories.

Order Becoming now: http://www.thewriteroom.net/newtitles.html

Here is what several authors say about the potential in stories:

Christina Baldwin, author of Storycatcher: Making Sense of our Lives through the Power and Practice of Story writes

“Through story, we learn from each other’s experiences and pass along huge amounts of common wisdom…. Story is the heart of language. Story emotionally moves us to love and hate and can motivate us to change the whole course of our lives. Story can lift us beyond the borders of our individuality to imagine realities of other people, times, and places. Storytelling -- both oral tradition and written word -- is the foundation of being human."

Check out Storycatcher and join the Storycatcher Network at http://www.storycatcher.net/storycatcher_book.html

Carla Rieger, author of the spellbinding new book, The Change Artist writes,

“It's healing for people to lose themselves in a good story. There is evidence that retelling a story can help people reflect and extract lessons from those situations, which allows their "back brain" to release the trauma and thus integrate the learning. If you don't integrate the learning, you can tend to circle around and repeat your mistakes.” Review and order The Change Artist at http://www.thechangeartistbook.com/

Gary Harper, fellow traveler and author of The Joy of Conflict Resolution http://www.joyofconflict.com/ Reviewers write about his book:

“With the creative use of story and metaphor, the book lays out the changing roles of victim, villain, and hero, and how identification of these roles leads to conflict resolution. … In an accessible, engaging and light-hearted style that uses stories and humor to explore potentially emotionally charged situations, it provides proven and practical skills to move beyond confrontation to resolve conflicts collaboratively.”

Resolving conflict collaboratively can change our stories dramatically!

About the launch and Becoming:

2009-05-13T18:23:00.001-07:00

It was great to have the opportunity to witness the launch of your book. I enjoyed every moment of it.

I wanted to tell you how lovely the book launch was. You did a marvellous job. I really enjoyed everyone who spoke and was deeply touched by both you and your brother. There was much 'authenticity' in how everyone spoke.

Fantastic event yesterday, Jill.

Thank you so much for a really touching afternoon. When you read your chapter I realized how my perception of life is exactly like yours was: life is a struggle. It was the same "aha" moment for me. I will try to dance with life and let life dance me! Thank you for that. I am looking forward to more new insights with each chapter.

Jill, what a wonderful, heart-filled book launch, and what a lovely book. I came home last night intending to go to an old friend's 60th birthday party and ended up sinking into your book instead. I'm reading it slowly, but am already a third of the way through and shall be savouring it over the next days and weeks. Just wanted to let you know how much I'm enjoying it. The candour and humour are truly engaging, the rhythm lively, and the stories make me want more! Congratulations again!

TO ORDER BECOMING: contact me directly or go to http://www.thewriteroom.net/newtitles.html to order on line with PayPal.

2009-05-05T10:55:00.000-07:00

LOCAL NEW INDEPENDENT PRESS LAUNCHES FIRST TITLE

The Write Room Press, a local independent and non-fiction publishing press will launch its first title this Saturday, May 9, at 4:00 p.m. at the YWCA Hotel downtown Vancouver.

Vancouver resident Jill Schroder is the author of the Write Room Press’ first title, Becoming. John Davis, Professor at Naropa University says,  "This book gleans nuggets from many teachings and makes them personally accessible. This is benefit enough to recommend it. More than this, though, it invites us into our own experiences. And after all, it is here – in the intimacy of our own experience – that these stories come true and unfold. These stories are doorways, opening us to our own journeys. This is a book to read over and over."

The book launch will feature speakers, readings by the author, book signing, and ample opportunity to speak with the author as well as Press representatives. The event is free and open to the public. Becoming is available at Vancouver’s independent bookstore Duthie Books, and online at http://www.thewriteroom.net/newtitles.html.

An offshoot of a writing and editing company, the Write Room, the Write Room Press publishes non-fiction and academic manuscripts for specialized audiences, as well as manuscripts that challenge popular norms or ideas. In short, the new independent publisher publishes works that may not be interesting or profitable enough for large corporate publishers.

Introducing Becoming

2009-04-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

The book I have been working on for the past couple of years (it's my first), is fresh back from the printer! It's called Becoming: Journeying toward Authenticity and creating it has been a rich and rewarding project. It is published by a new, independent, Vancouver publisher: The Write Room Press.

I invite you to have a look at the book and read some reviews by going to http://www.thewriteroom.net/newtitles.html voila! It can be ordered there as well. Or you can contact me directly jill.schroder AT gmail.com (substitute @ for " AT "). A portion of the proceeds will go to Families For Children a fine non-profit, non-sectarian organization helping the poorest of women and children.

The book itself is a set of personal essays, which, as one reviewer has said, "... glean nuggets from many teachings and makes them personally accessible. This is benefit enough to recommend it. More than this, though, it invites us into our own experiences. And after all, it is here – in the intimacy of our own experience – that these stories come true and unfold. These stories are doorways, opening us to our own journeys. This is a book to read over and over."

Each essay begins with two provocative quotations which set the tone, and concludes with references to related reading to deepen the exploration of the theme. As well, each essay offers a set of questions which invite the reader to reflect on her/his own life in the areas addressed in that essay.

The essays themselves, and the questions that follow, are intended to be a stepping stone for the reader's own personal reflection and self-discovery. Becoming is an invitation for each of us to delve into our own lives and stories, to reflect and share, broaden and deepen. Essentially the essays are about exploring key moments in our lives, the possibilities for personal transformation, and for being here -- now -- in an authentic way.

The section headings are

Why me? Why now? What about you?
Growing Up
Metaphors and Worldviews
People and Places
Purpose and Meaning
Shadows and Ambiguities
Control and Surrender

Perhaps this piques your interest :-)

In future posts, you'll find material on some of the book's themes, as well as links to related topics. This will get us started:

Authenticity is a rich topic. What does it actually mean, Authenticity? One definition suggests that authenticity is "a particular way of dealing with the external world, being faithful to internal rather than external ideas." This is in sync with the tone of the book but barely begins to scratch the surface. What does authenticity mean to you?

One of the essays in Becoming is called "Work and/or Play." Check out this TED talk by Stuart Brown on "Why Play Is Vital," which relates directly to the essay. Get ready to smile!

Welcome to the Becoming blog. I hope we enjoy a fruitful connection. Please post a comment and give me your feedback and ideas.